My Name is Amory and I am a Slashaholic.

Oh man. Oh man, oh man, oh man! How can I ever express just how happy it makes me that Dean liking to wear pink panties is canon? And that whole Luci!Sam vs. Dean thing... oh baby, Jared does a smooth devil! Nice, slick white suit and those red roses a'blooming in the back. Take me, Satan, and use me for your wicked ways! *g*

Oh, but I think Dean got ripped out of there a little too fast. My version:

"SNAP."

Dean blinked. "Shit, that's my neck, man."

Luci!Sam smirked. "I like it rough." He paused. "Actually, it's the fangirls that like it rough. But they're Hell's most loyal citizens so that's not really surprising."

Dean frowned for a moment, trying to puzzle that through, then his eyes widened. "Oh, shit. Not that Winchuhinnacest again?!"

"Wincest," Luci!Sam corrected primly. "And add a little Lucifer to the batch... that's some HARD CORE going on there."

"We are SO not having sex."

"Want to bet?" Luci!Sam smirked in his adorably wicked way, exciting sinners all around.

Dean ignored the leap in his pants. "Sure. There is NO way I'd fuck you."

Luci!Sam smiled. "That's right. *I* fuck you. And you really shouldn't take a bet with someone five years in the future. I mean, HELLO. I think I know a little more about what's to come than you do, blast from the past."

Dean gritted his teeth. "I would never do anything sexual with my bro--"

"I know about the pink panties thing, Dean."

Dean's eyes grew wide as he stumbled back a little in shock. "Y-you... how did you find out about THAT?!"

Luci!Sam did the sexy!smirk once more. "Because you spent three hours tied to my bed begging me to rip them off with my teeth."

Dean's mouth dropped open. "Oh, HELL no--"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Luci!Sam interupted, waving his hand about in a vague motion. "You just keep telling yourself that, boyo. But when you change your mind and want to start a'gettin' it on, just give me a ring." He reached into his jacket's breast pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper, tossing it to Dean.

Dean grabbed it and blinked as he stared down at the business card in his hands.

Lucifer*
The Devil
CEO: Hell, Incorporated
phone: 666-666-6666
email: PrinceOftheProm@SinfulHotStuff.com
*please note that there are many variations on this name and this is in no way an attempt to deny anyone’s right to follow their particular variation of Devil worship. All races, genders, and sexualities will be, by law, treated equally as part of the Devil’s hoard.

“Wow. That is really politically correct."

Lucifer shrugged. "Hey, no one can say I'm not a business man." He flashed a grin at Dean. "So don't worry--when I find you selling your self on that street corner in 2011, I'll pay the full price!"

"God DAMMIT!" Raphael suddenly appeared out of nowhere, huffing and puffing. "Missed the damn AngeliTrain, had to fly the whole way... Aw SHIT! How long have you been talking to this pervert?"

Dean glared at Raphael. "Who the fuck do you think you are, messing with me like this?"

"I am the angel who is trying to explain to you that you HAVE to be Michael's vessel--"

"Don't you like it how *you* have to be the angel condom, Dean, but Sam gets to be the prom suit? Just give it up and admit you're a slut." Luci!Sam smirked and all pulses raced.

"Stop making my dick twitch," Raphael muttered, glaring at Luci!Sam. "Screw this. We're going back to 2009. Second decades suck." He sneered. "C'mon, Dean. Let's not poop for a week."

FLASH!

The End. :)

Well, I spent all day moving everything in my house around so that my friends who are moving in with me at the end of the month will have a place to put their beds, LOL! Got the black leather sofa out of "the pink room" (aka, the room I painted hot pink) and stuck it in the living room so we can all have places to sit. I also managed to put my most-read books in one bookshelf and box the rest. The place is coming along! *does a little dance then collpases from book-mover-exhaustion* :)

YAY! Looks like Faith and Vickie might be coming sooner than I expected! :) I'm checking into how to pull off the school transfers (a teacher at Swift, the elementary near my house, goes to my church and should be able to help me out there) and it looks like you just pretty much show up at the school's front desk with your kid and your papers, LOL. Ah, the efficiency of school systems!

(Addendum: Any ideas from parent-types how to explain to a little girl the subtleties of getting a new dog when you already have two? LOL. I don't think she understands that there's going to have to be an introduction process beyond just sticking them in the same room. *g*)

I got the latest Black Jewels Trilogy (by Anne Bishop) book, 'The Shadow Queen' in the mail this week. I luuuuuv the Black Jewels original trilogy, with all its twisting of Judeo-Christian imagery into an amazing fantasy world where the High Lord of Hell is the good guy, "darker" powers are better, and women are the natural born rulers of society. An awesome trilogy with both sweetness and a bit of angsty D/Sness to it--and I *loved* the short stories she wrote to clear up some holes in the story, like Lucivar finding his wife! But this latest book... I'm not too impressed. I love Jaenelle (the most powerful and darkest witch ever born, the High Lord of Hell's adopted daughter, and an all around lovable character) and I adore Damien in all his former-pleasure-slave-turned-husband-to-Witch glory but this book has made them just plain boring. I wish that she would just focus more on the new witch that the book is actually about instead of just dragging Saetan, Daemon, and Jaenelle into it. But oh well... I'll take what I can get! And since I've re-read the actual trilogy a dozen times... okay, I'll keep reading cause I'm ready for a fix!

Oh man, oh man, oh man. I'm having a lovely combination of a crappy day (my friends from Up Northwest have flown away, leaving me all to sit sadly by my wittle self 'til they make it back down here to stay--and my dogs are going crazy trying to find them!) and a fabulous hang over from last night's Supernat, which was totally an ode to the fans. I love it when slash gets acknowleged by the general population! *g* Some people seem pretty pissy about it, implying that SPN was really dissing the fandom. But heck, I'll take ANY recognition as a good recognition! Most people just pretend my favorite hobby doesn't exist! Hmph. Besides, I thought it was all very good natured... and the SPN writers dissed themselves just as much as us! I can't stand authors like Laurell K. Hamilton who are all snobby-prissy about fanfiction and fandom because they think they're so damn wonderful and don't want to recognize that obsessive fans are the BEST fans! (I own a hundred and fifty dollar lightsaber. Why would you want to smack down a fan willing to waste that much cash on a piece of plastic that lights up and makes a whooshing noise?) I think the SPN ep was really clear that they know they can be silly or cheesy as writers sometimes and that they appreciate that their fans enjoy it!

And who COULDN'T adore that shirtless, long haired Sam on that book cover?!

I may just have to download that ep and watch it again.

*sigh* And now I am heading back off to contine pouting on my couch, wishing Faith and Vick were still around. Let's just say the house is a lot calmer minus Ms. Wants-To-Dance-Around-My-House-Like-Roxy-Hart-On-Crack--not to mention a lot more boring! lol. Off to boredom. I <3 Vickie and Faith waaaay too much. Okay, not really. *g* We make an awesome little family lol. And my min pin sure likes putting her nose in Faith's neck, lol! I wish I could help 'em move down here. I don't think driving all two thousand miles in a moving truck is gonna be a blast for Faith; unfortunately, with my substitute job being all that's supporting me (other than my parents lol) I seriously doubt I could afford to fly up there and help--but maybe I should start saving! Somehow I think the trip would be a little less terrible if there was more than one driver. And I don't think Vickie is the one for the job! (No offense, of course to her driving skills! *g*)

Man, I kinda miss the dance/wrestling. Okay, they totally need to come back soon.

So, me, my parents, my cousin and her husband, and my grandparents went out to our cabin at Lake Palo PintoMy cousin had brought a DVD of Tim Hawkins, a Christian standup comedian who often performes at churches. Now, this guy is hilarious, but the skit he did on his "favorite Bible verse" was HISTARICAL. They SHOULD cross-stitch that on a pillow!

I admit it, just like they say in "Avenue Q," I am a little bit racist! I have a heart rate monitor watch that cost me about 80 bucks. Its battery died so I took it to Robinson's Jewelers at the Parks Mall to get it fixed. For 14 bucks they changed the battery... and I went and took a bath with it on. The watch (which was previously water proof) died a sad death. So, a little pissed off, I took it back to them and they said that for it to be waterproof after a battery change it would have to be fixed by someone who does diving watches. So they said they'd have their 'watch guy' fix it and when he sent it back they'd call me. I wait for about a week, call them, and it's still at the watch guy. Now comes me being BAD GIRL. Because these (perfectly friendly and sweet!) guys are obviously Indian (as in from India, not Native American) I start to wonder what they might try and charge me when I get the watch back. Finally, after about two weeks, they call me and say they have my watch. So I go to get it, fully expecting the 'Indian guys' to try and charge me an arm and a leg--something I ain't gonna pay. Instead I find that my watch was unfixable. So they bought me a new one. The same heart rate monitor sport's watch that I had given them to change the battery on. Now, this is NOT a watch they sell at their store. They would have to have gone to a place like the Academy to get one. And so there I am, thinking that 'cause they're from India they'll try and swindle me, and they just hand me a brand new watch, no extra charge.

Don't I feel like a racist schmuck for joking with my mother about how I bet they'd try to charge me for this when it was their fault the watch died and so on and so forth? Truth is, it's probably impossible to replace the battery in this watch without ruining the water proof-ness. A lot of watches are like that; it's a good way for companies to force you to buy new ones.

Overall, I am an asshole.

If you're in the DFW area and are looking for high quality jewelry or engagement rings and stuff, go to Robinson's Jewelers at the Parks Mall. They're nice and they're definitely trustworthy--they went far beyond what they had to do to fix my watch!

That's what you get for judging people. I went in with a negative attitude, sure that I would have to tell them off, and I find that they've done a wonderful thing for me. This is why Jesus is such a nicer guy than I am, LOL.

Wow. WOW. I cleaned TWO rooms today! *dances around* Okay, so my mom came over and helped me. *pouts* Still, it is a success! For th first time in a very long time, my house smells like Pine Sol and various cleaning agents rather than fast food and puppy dogs!

Faith and Vickie are coming to visit at the end of the month (and maybe if wishes were sexy men--and we all rode--move down here someday where it's cheaper and we have air conditioning everywhere and I am very bored and could use my bestest friend closer to me!) so I am trying to get my house shape! It's a great house; the rooms are a little smaller than I'm used to but it has three bedrooms, a kitchen, a living room, a full bath and a half bath, a utility room and such. Bought it right out of college and now I'm substitute teaching for a living--TRANSLATION: my parents are paying most of my bills. But I'm not very good at keeping it nice and clean. ESPECIALLY since my mom, literally, has minor Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and has always kept her house sparkly clean. So I'm really not used to living in filth, LOL--but having to pick it up myself is driving me MAAAAD! She had to come over and teach me how to dust. Yeah, I know I'm pitiful. Spoiled only child with an OCD mom means everything got cleaned for me! So I'm taking the cleaning slow (since I've let it build up) and it should be unusually sparkly by the time Faith and Vick get here. Then we can destroy it together! YAY!

One downside to the time that they're visiting is that it's during the week, not weekend, and Six Flags hasn't opened fully yet; it's only on weekends. Vickie has a pass and we were gonna go, but we're not gonna get the chance. So I've been trying to come up with other stuff to do. We gotta go to the Fort Worth Stockyards 'cause that's just pure Texas fun--hell, it's the only Texas-ish thing in the Metroplex, the rest is just city LOL--and because I want to see this giant, person sized wooden maze they apparently have. Plus there's the best part of the Stockyards: twice a day they herd Longhorn steer down one of the major streets hehehe. Now THAT is fun to see. We try very hard in Texas to appeal to visitors who don't realize there really aren't very many cowboys in Dallas. There are a lot of Cowboys, as in the football team, though, since my city (Arlington is right in between Fort Worth and Dallas) is building the new stadium! YAY! Screw the Rangers, this is Texas, football is our baby.

I have to introduce them to good Tex Mex, probably in the form of Abuelos (Hell, I spent from 6-6 on a Saturday giving a damn test to make the money for all our vacation play!) and Freebirds--cause that is just a classic, Austin-bred joint of hippie fun! (Who can turn down a burrito shop with a giant statue of Lady Liberty riding a Harley hanging from the ceiling? Not me, that's for sure!) And my parents got a movie pass for Christmas from my aunt that they're going to give me so we can go see a movie at the mall theatre which will, as always, leave me desperate to buy more clothing 'cause I can never get enough and malls just do that to addicts like me!

And, of course, Vickie is very excited to meet my parents (because she 'loves old people' *smirk!*) and my grandparents (if she loves old people she'll be enamoured with them! LOL). The REAL scary thing is going to be talking my dogs into allowing these unknown people into their sacred territory where they are the King and High Queen of the Universe and all do as they say. Obey the Min Pin and the Chihuahua or DIE! MUAHAHAHA! Okay, maybe I'll put them in the bedroom. *g*

My house should actually make a good motel--I paid $2,000 for my mattress after all. Great thing to spend my graduation money on, yeah? *shrugs* What can I say? I love Temperpedic. Or however the heck you spell that.

But all this rambling basically comes down to: I CLEANED TODAY! YAY FOR ME!!!

*clears throat* Okay, I'm a loser. I admit it. *dances for joy*

Wow. It is amazing how photoshop so easily turns pictures of me into panda bears with a little brightness/contrast play! And now, on our tour of the net, take a moment to look at that adorable little panda bear person now at the top of my Livejournal header. Me? Wear too much eyeliner?! Please! There's no such thing as too much eyeliner, right? Right? Right. *smirk* (And no, I did NOT learn to apply makeup by imitating RuPaul. Or Pete Burns. It was David Bowie!)

I really wish I still had that bra I'm wearing there. It makes me look like I have tits. Or tits worth viewing, anyway. The upside to having no chest is that I don't have to wear bras! Ever! The downside is I have no boobs. *pouts* On the bright side my chest is unusually concave (I got a dip in my chest that, before I got titties, made me look like one of those starving children with their tummies poofed out--or possibly a pregnant six year old)so if I get a bra that pushes them together (aka, I buy a too-small size!) then it looks like I have boobies! And in that nice piccy I stuck in my LJ header you can't even tell how itsy tisty they are! YAY! *g* Ah, truth is I'd never wish for a bigger chest. I HATE wearing bras and, hey, the concave chest thing actually works pretty well. I look GOOD in a corset, baby. Ah, hell, I look GOOD always. Cause I'm just so damn hot. Even when I wear a tutu over my jeans just for the hell of it. That's true Fabulous, honey! ;)

RANDOM NOTE: Tomorrow will be 24 days 'til my friends fly in! Darnit, Vickie, you've got me counting now! *g*

Okay, wow, I thought it would be hard work when I decided to do the SPN/J2 Big Bang (spn_j2_bigbang). God help me, I'm already 18,500 words in and the plot has barely gotten going and there's only been one minor sex scene. Dang. I think I got carried away. And, of course, it's a BDSM theme (because I can never stay away from that one, LOL) and so I've got some slave!Jensen going on, which is always fun but tends to make me want to write more, more more. Now, the writing is a lot of fun--what's scaring me is how much I'll have to fix once I start on the second draft! *winces*

Up to the Challenge
Part 3 of The Lucid Ficcing Series--follows God Save the Slave Fic and Fanon Remains. (You don't have to have read the others to understand this fic--just realize that in this darling crack!fic verse, the boys are well aware that they are fictional characters and tend to get rather pissy when authors use them in ways they shouldn't!)

By: Amory
Description: Drugged with rhohypnol and maybe a little drunk too, Dean agreed to a Song Fic Challenge—and the song is the Purple Eyed Demon's fav! Now it's up to Sam to protect his brother from being caged up forever as Purple Eyes’ pet—but surely nothing sane can come from a song like ‘When Doves Cry’?! (Written for the rockin_the_80s Fic Challenge based on “When Doves Cry” by Prince)
Word Count: 1,000
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Parody, humor, crack!fic, semi-crossover, talk of kink, and sex jokes, baby.
Disclaimer: Not mine: never was, never will be. *pout* The CW has a tight hold on my boys!

---------

( Sam hated it when Dean interrupted his Porno Time. Between the time they spent hunting ghosts on TV and 69-ing in fanfic, he hardly had a moment for his precious ritual! He was a twenty-something, former-honor student with a laptop and an internet connection. Porno Time was sacred. )

Title: Abstinence Education
By: amorymichelle
Description: Dean “gets around” and John wants it to stop—so he’s come up with a new form of abstinence education! (Written for the rockin_the_80s Fic Challenge, based on “White Wedding” by Billy Idol)
Word Count: 1,000
Rating: R for mentions of sex
Warnings: Gen, humorous wee!chester, FAKE MPreg (just a joke!)
Disclaimer: Not mine: never was, never will be. *pout* The CW has a tight hold on my boys!

--------------------

( Pastor Jim wondered idly what John would do if Sam wanted to be a pregnant bride for Halloween. )

Had to substitute again today. Hell, I hate kids (well, at least when they're in large groups and will not SHUT UP--otherwise they're okay *g*) but, hey, $75.00 for a day's work is always good! And if I'm gonna put up that downpayment on the hot tub I want for my backyard, well, I gotta make some cash! But apparently my current unemployment has driven me to fanfic INSANITY... because Amory has gone and signed up for the SPN/J2 BigBang! 20,000 words before May 1, baby! Ooooh, all the crazy possibilities are dancing around me!!!

Fanon Remains
By: Amory

PART 2: The Lucid Ficcing 'Verse
Sequel to God Save the Slave Fic!


Descrip: (Humor, S/D) After 'Family Remains' comes out Dean is left confused as hell about his sexuality and his training as a top must commence. But how can he survive in a world where he's the paddler, not the paddlee?!
Rating: NC-17, Sex humor, mentions of BDSM & NCS
Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine at all!


“Dammit, Dean, unlock the car!” The pounding on the Impala’s windshield was louder than the headboard banging at a love motel. Well, maybe not when Sam was the one thrusting, but that was because his penis had been constructed based on the model of a nuclear warhead, so the headboards had a tendency to go completely *through* the wall.

Dean just huddled down deeper in the very bad-for-sleeping-in but very good-for-angsting-in backseat, wrapping his arms around his chest and slamming his head against the upholstery to the beat of ‘Disco Inferno.’ “Go ‘way!”

“Dean, turn off the disco music and unlock the car or I’ll unlock it for you! Do you hear me, Deany Poo?!” Uh-oh. That wasn’t Sammy. Dammit, his brother had brought in reinforcements. The betrayer.

Castiel let out a deep sigh, glaring over at Sam who just smirked and rolled his eyes at the angel. “Good God, you giant ignoramus, how long has he *been* like this?!”

Sam shrugged, not looking particularly worried. “Not that long. Just since that one episode. ‘Phallic Remains’ or ‘Family Regurgitation or—“

“’Family Remains,’” Castiel cut in, more than a little annoyed.

“Right,” Sam agreed. “Anyway, yeah. It’s been kinda nice, actually. Real quiet. The obsessive hunting has gotten old *real* damn fast. It’s nice to be able to have a quiet Porno Time without the worry of Dean suddenly bursting in, desperate to do a PWP fic involving that giant teddy bear, a dildo shaped like a crucifix, and seventeen rolls of toilet paper.” He frowned at Castiel. “How did you find out about this, anyway?”

“The Purple Eyed Demon told me,” Castiel said flatly, trying to choke down the urge to mutilate this ogre with his nail file. Sam just didn’t care for this sacred butterfly of a Hunter the way a sexually-involved brother should! “I ran into him at a porno. ‘Eskimos and She Males: It’s Icing in Hell!’ Very hot. Purple Eyes hits the matinees sometimes.”

( Click Here to Read the Rest :) )

I am taking the first steps toward making a BDSM gay porno version of 'The Sound if Music'! *smirk*

"My Favorite Things"
by: Amory
(To the tune of Rodgers & Hammerstein's 'My Favorite Things' from "The Sound of Music")

Cum drops on noses, an ass sore for sittin’,
Tight leather trousers and floggers for hittin’.
Boys who are whimpering tied up with strings,
These are a few of my favorite things!

Scared collared slave boys whose buyers weren’t frugal,
Slut boys and pure boys and whip marks to ogle.
Crazed whores that stay hard by wearing cock rings,
These are a few of my favorite things!

Boys wearing dresses with makeup that matches,
But doesn’t quite cover hand marks or whip lashes.
Naughty young schoolboys turned into playthings,
These are a few of my favorite things!

When the bitch bites,
When the crop stings,
When my ass is had,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I know kink is rad!

God Save the Slave Sap
By: Amory

PART 1: The Lucid Ficcing 'Verse


Descrip: (Humor, S/D) Castiel learns the ways of NCS H/C
Rating: NC-17, crack!fic, silly mentions of NCS
Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine at all!



With a single strike of his abnormally large foot (it has to be large because it's all in proportion to his penis, see) Sam kicked in the door to the expensive looking abandoned cabin. Strategically placed in the middle of nowhere and surrounded by a neatly clipped lawn, the cabin had been hell to find--at least until he'd figured out that the line of numbers Dean had managed to carve into the bathroom wall with a nail clipper as he was being abducted were actually coordinates, not the cell number of the busty Little Person who cleaned their motel room.

Set next to a large, deserted lake with a public marina and a National Forest off to one side, the cabin was just the sort of place a demon wearing colored contacts would flock to. The door swung open with a surprising ease suggesting it might have very well have been open to begin with and Sam stared down the unlit corridor for a moment before stumbling off to the side, remembering that he was supposed to be sneaking in. God, what time was it anyway? He fumbled with the machete he's tied to his forearm with some broken shoelace for a moment, trying to get a good look at his watch. Dammit. He was missing 'Gilmore Girls' again. Dean was gonna die for this. And if he was already dead Sam was gonna resurrect him and kill him again.

Clutching his sawed off shotgun to his broad, handsome, well-waxed chest, (because 'clutch' should always be used in sentences regarding Sam Winchester's chest) Sam slipped into the hallway, noting idly that it seemed to be several hundred feet longer than the outside of the cabin could account for. Yup, this was definitely the work of a demon. Or a Hollywood producer with little regard for inconsistencies in film-making.

( Finish Reading it Here! )

If you're on my friends list, I want to know 36 things about you. I don't care if we never talk, or if we already know everything about each other. Short and sweet is fine... you're on my list, so I want to know you better!

Comment here and repost a blank one on your own journal.

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Do you swear a lot?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
34) Favourite and least favourite food?
35) Do you believe in God?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

God bless America, Obama is going to be our President! May God bless him and our country! May we take a new turn in history! I love our President-Elect! (Hey, Obama included gays & straights in his acceptance speech!) Really, this is a man who could make us PROUD of our nation once more!

3,368 / 50,000 (6.7%)

Well, I've started NaNoWriMo, the National Novel Writing Month. I discovered it while obsessively reading poisontaster's A Kept Boy, a SPN RPS fic where we've got slave!Jensen going on in a really cool AU. But anyway, point being that, two days into it, I have still met my daily goal. Which, considering how I tend to totally drop projects (like that damn Alan Rickman/Daniel Radcliffe fic set in the whatwekeep AU that I totally need to work on!), is actually pretty good for me. :) Now if only I can keep it up!

I have the story totally outlined (I work so much better with an outline) but I cannot for the life of me come up with a title. *sigh* Not even a working title. Just gotta keep thinking I guess.

Disney Lab Unveils Its Latest Line Of Genetically Engineered Child Stars

LMFAO!!!


http://www.theonion.com/content/video/disney_lab_unveils_its_latest